Under the Oaks: Our Capacity for Joy

you’re creating your ability to have it

Welcome to Under the Oaks, a quiet place to sit and read in the Land of Oaks and Roses.

I recently took my kids out to lunch. To my surprise, they both sat in their chairs the whole time! It was a first. We shared bites of each other’s orders, laughed at each other’s jokes, said hi to strangers and watched birds fly by. It was the most joyful lunch I can ever remember having. Nothing particularly special happened though. It was really just an ordinary lunch. But the joy I felt was so palpable that it made me stop to think about how I got it.

The lunch! Waiting for our food with a bag of chips to help :)

The answer may feel obvious to anyone with young kids, or a boss who won’t leave them alone, or any circumstance that constantly prevents them from enjoying their meals. My joy came directly from the (many) frustrating, anxiety filled, painful mealtime experiences I’ve had since becoming a mom. This actually may have been the first time that I sat in my chair for a whole meal since having kids.

Zooming out further, I can see how all of my joys are rooted in uncomfortable (or downright painful) experiences. My worst living situation gave me the capacity to enjoy the home I’m in now. My worst heartbreak gave me the capacity to enjoy my husband. My worst job is what makes me feel so overwhelmingly content every time I sit down to write this newsletter. The list goes on…

I don’t want anyone to experience more pain than they need to. But when pain inevitably knocks on your door, I hope this serves as a reminder that the excruciating feelings aren’t for nothing. You’re actually birthing a new space within yourself. One that will be big enough to hold the feelings you really want. Even that one that feels impossibly out of reach. Right here on the bathroom floor, you’re creating your ability to have it. Your future self is having lunch somewhere, watching the birds fly by, and thanking you for the joy they didn’t think was possible.

Giving Tree

As a thank you to paid subscribers who water this little newsletter tree of mine, I’m starting something called Giving Tree. This will be a place where I offer you something I think you’ll love. It could be a gift from a brand, a book I just read and want to pass on, or anything else that I can think of that might bring you joy. I’ll start sprinkling them into the end of my newsletters starting this week with some nourishing Brodo Bone Broth. They recently sent me a gigantic box to try but I already receive a subscription (that I love!) so I have plenty to share. If you would enjoy trying this bone broth please comment and I will get in touch with you to coordinate delivery.

See you next week!

With much love,

Olivia